Wookie Princess

  I was living in a cage of my own making From the outside I had every reason to be happy No abuse or anything like that Just a lot of indifference to my needs Distractions helped numb the pain Until it just didn’t work anymore I no longer wanted to live this life The cage kept getting smaller and smaller I could escape by ending it all Or I could put myself first I could remove the locks I could live the life I have always wanted But what of the cost For me the cost was guilt Guilt for chasing my own happiness at the expense of others Is it selfish?   Is the cost worth it? For the others I left behind probably not For me I will live with the cost of chasing happy I have no regrets except not doing it sooner AMH

  My head found the clouds twice in two days Different flights but full of discovery All my broken pieces pulled tight to reform A stronger, happier, more confident version Asking for what I wanted instead of waiting Going after my dreams on my own The cracks still exist of course Much harder to penetrate than before Passion, desire, frustration Needed, wanted, desired So much overloaded my system Body registered enough Even when my brain was in flight Days I will remember for some time to come Smells and sounds will trigger memories Of flights that put my feet back on the ground AMH

  Soft gentle touches are great Make me feel special But taking me in hand Brings my woman to the front I can let go of the day and just be So many thoughts running through Want new experiences and to enjoy life Hard to let go of taught reactions Living day by day can be difficult at times I have been told no regrets is the way to go Can you really have no regrets?   I still wonder what people will think How do you get past that and just live AMH

 Shells are fragile yet strong. The smallest force can chip, but the ocean forms those chipped shells into something new and no less beautiful.   Life may crack you but the over all flow of your life forms you.  Don’t focus on the small cracks.

  Today was not a good day At times the sadness overwhelmed me I was able to push it away in short bursts of happiness Pretending the smile on my face was real When I let my mind wander, those smiles turned to tears Nothing wrong today just a day to feel sad Maybe I was due a sad day to put happy ones in perspective Maybe I am just human and get sad from time to time But sad today is ok from time to time Just as long as today doesn’t become tomorrow Or the week, month, year For today only I am allowed to be sad To allow out the pain I keep buried deep inside But only today.   AMH