Little Eric I told someone about you recently. Seems like forever since I tried to discuss what happened. It’s not because I ever forget about you. I only got one day, but I will love you forever. It’s because I blame myself. Now you are all I can think about. I still can’t open the box of memories. It just brings it all rushing back. To see your picture and the few things I have It’s so little but so much. It’s because I blame myself. I’m the reason you didn’t get to grow up. My body failed us both. My greatest wish is to hold you one more time. To tell you how much you are loved. To tell you how very sorry I am That I failed to keep you safe Because I do blame myself AMH
When we became us In the beginning it was enough You were my best friend You were my everything Convinced me I could do and be more Convinced me there were no limits Encouraged me to be the woman you saw me as Now I have accomplished all those things But somewhere along the way Us became you and me Two strangers passing through life together I lost you to become me AMH
Emotional nightmares holding me down Years of pain coming to a head Despair, anger, loneliness, fear Unwanted, unneeded, unappreciated Escape to a virtual world where at least I can feel alive Finally getting some of the attention I so much desire Realizing this is fantasy and I need to step away Breaking my heart by putting up a wall to save my soul The tears were as endless as the pain The day I realized I was in to much pain to go on The day I decided to put me first Making the calls to get the help I needed was beyond difficult Realizing my own happiness would require me to be selfish for the first time So much anger coming my way from so many different directions Keeping my chin up through it all Mistakes so many mistakes trying to find my way Life on constant hold waiting for the new life to begin New beginnings are so tough and often lonely Settling into my new home calmed the crazy for a bit Then the bird needed to fly Experience it...
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