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Surviving

 My life is a bit of a mess Not sure how to put all the pieces back together  Taking my fathers path to keep going I know how that ends I have support but I have to fix it My job is no more I love what I can’t have Escape seems so easy But it’s all just waiting there My pain. My fear, my love Each night I lay down and the tears slip out Scared I will fail putting it all back together  Scared I won’t move on The fear and pain are so overwhelming  Do you blame me for needing to forget a bit Maybe you should Because it’s a path of no return  Worse is down that road than I’m going through now I’m trying, but it’s hard I’m living but a day at a time I’m surviving  because it’s what I do I’m smiling, because I’m a chameleon I will not break, because I refuse too 

I Wasn't Supposed to Love You

 I wasn’t supposed to love you You were my friend  The person I could tell anything  We were wrong for more Then one night I was shattered Someone took my control  You were there every step of the way Giving me everything I needed I realized you were not just a friend  You were my best friend  As time went on the physical healed  Mostly thanks to you The emotional will take so much more Before long you became more I didn’t just love my friend  I was in love with someone who didn’t feel the same I wasn’t supposed to love you You were always special to me I always cared more than you Now it was so much worse It was slowly tearing me apart I was already broken If I continued loving what I couldn’t have I would never come back I had to let you go Putting up that boundary hurt more than you can imagine  My heart is in pieces  So easy for you to let me go So now I’m picking up all my broken pieces  So easy for you to let me go A heart so ...

Me

  The me of yesterday is gone Unequivocally changed in one night The me of today is broken  Not what I want for my future   The me of tomorrow is uncertain   Not sure of my path forward   All of the versions are colliding   Making it hard to be certain  If I can find the me I want

What If

 What if's clouding my brain What if I fail? What if it all comes crashing down? What if life never works out? What if it was all one big mistake? But What if I succeed? What if its better than I ever expected? What if I finally get to experience everything life has to offer?  What if I get everything I ever wanted? It's time to change the narrative

Cloudy Days

 Dark clouds rambling in my head Trying to push back the tide  In this storm of my own making I wish I knew how to stop I wish I knew why my brain is different There is comfort that its not as bad That I can see rays through the clouds Once upon a time I couldn't Taking the steps to make it better Knowing I can make it better I will push through the storm Find my happy again