2022 In Reflection

By

 

Emotional nightmares holding me down

Years of pain coming to a head

Despair, anger, loneliness, fear

Unwanted, unneeded, unappreciated

Escape to a virtual world where at least I can feel alive

Finally getting some of the attention I so much desire

Realizing this is fantasy and I need to step away

Breaking my heart by putting up a wall to save my soul

The tears were as endless as the pain

The day I realized I was in to much pain to go on

The day I decided to put me first

Making the calls to get the help I needed was beyond difficult

Realizing my own happiness would require me to be selfish for the first time

So much anger coming my way from so many different directions

Keeping my chin up through it all

Mistakes so many mistakes trying to find my way

Life on constant hold waiting for the new life to begin

New beginnings are so tough and often lonely

Settling into my new home calmed the crazy for a bit

Then the bird needed to fly

Experience it all at one time

Calming influences telling me to slow down

More mistakes and missteps than I can count

Finding my calm in the storm of emotions

Finally, people who understand me and accept me

How could a brand-new place feel so much like coming home

Happiness I never expected to find

Experiences I never expected to have

2022 has been a year of pain

It has also been a year of

Pleasure

Discovery

Madness

Mistakes

Acceptance

Forgiveness

It has been a year of so many changes

I do not think I would be here without them

I found my strength in 2022

Because in 2022 I found me


AMH

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Soul Searching

By
So many voices in my head on repeat You are too sensitive You are so emotional You are so needy You are to much You are not enough The sad thing is most of these are things people I loved said to me Some thinking they were helping me by making me stronger Some to deflect their own feelings of inadequacy Some because they were just trying to hurt me Then it became my inner dialogue The things that make me unique became the things I hated most So when my feelings where hurt I said nothing When I had strong feelings I pushed them down I stopped reaching out to people when I needed support I stopped voicing my thoughts and feelings and learned to just listen I tried to make myself into whatever I felt the other person wanted I started changing that last year after my world fell apart I was so exhausted trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be I made a lot of progress until the spring of this year Then a few things changed that for whatever reason sent me spiraling My touchstones wer...
Read more