Wookie Princess

 Dark clouds rambling in my head Trying to push back the tide  In this storm of my own making I wish I knew how to stop I wish I knew why my brain is different There is comfort that its not as bad That I can see rays through the clouds Once upon a time I couldn't Taking the steps to make it better Knowing I can make it better I will push through the storm Find my happy again

One day I  realized I was only your friend, sorta Sorta friends shouldn't care right Sorta friends should live their own life  Sorta friends shouldn't feel rejected Sorta friends don't matter at the end of the day Sorta friends just pass through your life If only you were sorta a friend to me too

I said goodbye to you Babe My heart was broken and you were part of that I did a lot of healing and growing Didn't let anyone in but my friends Then I was ready to try again This time without all the pain I wanted more than I did before Still not traditional but I wasn't scared to feel again I met someone that reminded me of you I missed you so damn much and broke my rule I reached out one night after my defenses were low I knew it was a mistake but I did it anyway again and again I let you back in to my life knowing how badly it went last time I no longer kept my mouth shut and told you exactly what I expected You backed off immediately when I showed you my true self You know longer wanted to see me but still keep me in your life I tried to walk away again but you wouldn't allow it I'm not sure why you want me around as its clear you don't like the true me It didn't take long to realize it would never be the same again I no longer trust you with my heart  You n

 The day is finally here The next step in building the future I want When I first started I had a need to prove something I did everything alone with no ones help I still struggle with letting others help me There are some things that I need to do alone Others I'm finding I'm ok with the help I no longer feel the need to prove anything I just want my life to be my own Today I will take the first step alone Then accept the help for the next Parts of my future are so clear Others I'm still figuring out Today is my future Yesterday is my past Time to live for Today